Due to how tired and sore I feel there is only one thing that I think can cure my aches and pains. Unfortunately this shall not be alcohol - stupid American laws. Instead I am opting for pizza. And so much of it. Shockingly, I believe that this shall only be my second pizza since being here and God knows I'm partial to a pizza. I feel I have used the word 'pizza' too much and it has lost meaning - pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. I have actually made myself hungry, how embarrassing. There is also some baseball on tonight but I don't think I fancy sitting on my own watching a game I do not fully understand despite everyone saying how simple it is. Not very helpful.
So the message of this post is to say that yes I still have very bad, dark days. But I also have amazing days. And it feels to me that I am having more happy days than sad days and I cannot explain how excited this makes me. I am slowly getting there!! I know it seems endless when you are depressed, but I am proof that things do get better! You wouldn't believe some of the messages I am receiving from friends, old friends to strangers saying how brave I am. To me that is crazy. What would have been brave would have been if I had been open about everything when I first got diagnosed, not to wait an entire year. All I am doing is simply writing down my thoughts and experiences to enlighten others and possibly show that everything does get better. Slowly, but surely.